what a beautiful mess this is...

I love these photos. Does anyone want to model for me for these kinds of pictures? 

I have really been wanting to take pictures like this for a long time... preferably a boy and a girl? anyways. 

Here are my seemingly endless thoughts in a nutshell. 

Hmmm. My daily schedule is jam packed with things to do, places to be, things to remember, people to love,  and music lately. I feel really jittery a lot too but that wore off after a few days. I've learned to accept my stress and I'm pretty numb to it most days but I crash a few days out of the week. I guess it's not stress ( I honestly don't think I'm doing a million things, I could definitely be doing more.) It's just that I think about a million different things while I do a billion other things. (Does that even make sense?) 

So I guess in a sense, it is a beautiful mess. 

How is it beautiful? I think it's because at the end of every endless, tiring, worn out, sickening, stressful, neglected, ungrateful day... I'm left staring at my ceiling thinking about You. How can I forget You during my day. You hold all things. I think keep forgetting, or maybe I just doubt it when things get out of my hands. Why do I let my life consume me when my life should be consumed with You. But, that just proves a very important point that God makes very clear to us. It isn't what you've done, or how bad you've fallen, it's whether or not you get back up from that. Gina Choi has been getting up.

I guess I'm just really tired lately & I feel like I'm maturing but everyone and everything around me is staying the same. It makes me look at people and things differently and how I feel towards them. I'm developing different habits I never really had before. Some of them are really good, others I could definitely improve on. I'm really, really tired. I need rest.